Team Canada to wear German jerseys in Sochi

By now you have all heard Team Canada’s roster announcement. Its pretty good. It might even be so good you skipped your work day to bask in glory of your country’s genius decisions. Maybe you just went back to listening to your Ipod or downloading illegal copies of the latest Bachelor episodes online. Regardless of your life decisions after Team Canada was announced, you took notice.

Steven Q Yzerman put his picks out in the free world for all to see on Tuesday and it definitely was met with slight criticisms. For example, how in the blue heck was Todd Bertuzzi NOT on there? He played in 2006. Did he not impress? Were his late night strip poker sessions and hot tub parties too much for the Canada brass? We may never know. Why did Wayne Gretzky yet again miss the cut? Age? Maybe. Did he just feel he couldn’t compete anymore or was the fact that brat Sidney Crosby was already there turn him off?

I could ask questions all day about this, but I have been told its my bedtime soon so I’ll keep it short or short-ish. Mike Babcock will have quite the roster of talent going into Sochi and even though it may not be the best team ever assembled, it has enough leadership and overall talent to get the job done. 2010 was arguably the best team Canada ever brought to the Olympics and with a few of those players no longer in the league or too old to compete competitively, there needed to be a switch in mentality. Go young and make sure the guys that go are responsible with the puck. Not to mention, they can move it around better than the Sedins. Ok maybe thats a stretch but it wouldn’t hurt.

I don’t need to get into a big list of who made the team because quite frankly, you are smart enough to google it and I don’t need to waste my time typing the obvious. Seriously, grow up and google it! You want me to pour your cereal and feed you too? How about I do your laundry and wipe yo….ok im sorry. That was rude of me. Im just so gosh darn excited to see Team Canada repeat as Olympic Champion Overlords of the hockey universe. Aren’t you?

So lets tackle this jersey issue. You read the title of this little diddy and so far I haven’t even given you a hint at whats up. Ok check this out:

We will win gold Mein Fuhrer

We will win gold Mein Fuhrer

See that little red arm band? Lets just leave that thought alone for a second. Why would they put that there? Ok I broke my own rule there. Its of German relation lets just say that.

So back to the team. We have some pretty saucy names going to Sochi. Take for example P.K. Subban. He won the Norris trophy last year and he was great in the World Juniors for Canada. He would be on the Luongo level of criticism for being worthy of going but apparently the talent isn’t good enough for some reason. I’ll never understand that. Jamie Benn is going. Good for him. A great addition to the team and he will bring a physical presence up front. Chris Kunitz got the call as well and he can pretty much thank Sid for that. It makes me think why Mike Richards wasn’t asked to be on the team. Maybe he had too much snow being constantly stuck to his stick blade *wink*

Roberto Luongo will take up residence in Canada’s net again this time around and maybe he can buck the trend of losing that first game or playing bad enough to get the backup in for good. Don’t do it Strombone, DON”T DO IT!!! The last thing you need is one more reason for people to become idiots about your play.

Funny story, after his non invitation to play for Team USA, Bobby Ryan was asked to play for Team Canada. He will play along side Corey Perry and Ryan Getzlaf. No not really, but Brett Hull would sure get a kick out of that.

Is Canada going to win Gold at Sochi? You darn skippy they are! There isn’t a team that can fully contend with our beautiful symmetry of players and abundance of raw, unadultered talent. This will be a tournament for all time and Canada will reign supreme. I do ask one thing of the @strombone1, please please please, do not tweet any pictures of you kissing a man or anything resembling a man, they are on an anti-gay kick right now and I bet they ship you back to Canada. Just saying.

Hope you enjoyed the read, there should be more coming regularly now. Its about to become a beautiful friendship you and me. Lets go crazy together.

Follow my antics on twitter @hankthetank10 and make sure to follow @always90four as well. I’ll hunt you down if you don’t.

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