Canucks Trying To ‘Shake It Off’ Before Christmas

It’s a real shame Taylor Swift doesn’t roll through Vancouver with her 1989 World Tour until August because the Canucks could sure use some tips on how to shake off their current funk. The problems are obvious and the solutions are somewhere in limbo. If T-Swift can’t help them out maybe they should be asking Ol’ Saint Nick for help this Christmas.

I doubt the Canucks will be asking for the latest Frozen dolls, Star Wars Lego, Minecraft stuff or even tickets to see Jay Z; the current wish list in the Canucks locker room was recently found and here are a few snippets of what they asked for:

Willie Desjardins asked for mustache wax, Season 3 of Sons of Anarchy, a personalized coffee mug and a revival of the Bonino, Burrows and Higgins line….but that actually produces. Alex Burrows and Nick Bonino combined for a goal against the Rangers but no one can honestly tell you the last time that happened.

Henrik and Daniel Sedin asked for matching blue bikes, 2 rolex watches (yellow and blue in color), a sleigh for their race horses and a return to their scoring ways with Radim Vrbata in tow. Vrbata has 103 shots on the year, team leading, so feeding him the puck is the best method of action.

Ryan Miller asked for the unreleased Yeezi 3’s by Adidas x Kanye West, a personal tennis match with Milos Raonic and any and I MEAN ANY skills Roberto Luongo may have left in his Vancouver net to help beat this brutal stretch of play he seems to be going through. 18 goals against in his last 5 games along with a save percentage that rivals that of a rookie minor leaguer, it’s time to see something change.

– All Alex Edler asked for this year was the ability to hit someone again, ok, and that silver Starbucks card they’re selling. He is thankful though that not many sticks have broken on him this season.

– When asked what Bo Horvat wanted this year from Santa, he was pretty clear: a PS4 and ALL THE GAMES, a dirtbike with a wheelie bar, the entire Family Guy DVD collection, itunes gift cards and a sweet stereo for his new car he just bought with his first rookie pay cheque.

Kevin Bieksa wants “Bieksaface” back; he just isn’t the same without it. His mean streak isn’t the meanest right now and it’s about time he manned up and helped lead this team back to where it should be.

– Did Trevor Linden ask for anything? Let’s see: he runs the Canucks, he bikes to and from Whistler every morning before coming in to work, his team despite its current slump is still very much challenging for a top playoff spot and every GM in the league is answering his phone calls. Trevor just wants that puck to not have hit the post in 1994.

The Canucks have their own personal wish lists but their real need is for things to get back to the new normal. The wins were rolling in before things fell apart on the East Coast. The second line hasn’t recorded a point since before the mumps hit the NHL and Ryan Miller looks like the Ryan Miller that Buffalo didn’t even need. I’m not throwing Miller under the bus, but he hasn’t exactly shown much brilliance lately.

Christmas is a time for sharing, spending time with loved ones and the start of the World Junior Championship. The Canucks think that’s all fine and dandy but getting some points before the break would really help things get back on track. First up is the Dallas Stars and shutting down Jamie Benn, Jason “Giggles” Spezza and Tyler Seguin would be a great statement to make. The red hot Calgary Flames….wait did I say that right? are after that and there will be no excuses to lose to these chumps. Toronto was a shock and losing to the Flames is not an option.

So expect Santa to get a few final letters from the Vancouver Canucks and hopefully the nice list has some room and a few extra points in the standings will be under the tree this year.

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