Canucks 2015 Playoff Survival Checklist

So the Canucks clinched a playoff spot by beating the Kings on Monday night and then celebrated as the Oilers did the same thing the next night. It has been a rough two seasons for Canucks fans; missing the playoffs last year and getting thumped by the Sharks in five games back in 2013. An underrated Canucks roster that hasn’t over achieved but maybe lived up to what they were capable of becoming now has a 1 in 16 chance of lifting the Stanley Cup in June.

Aside from the obvious excitement, what’s next? There are two more games before the end of the season and wouldn’t you know it, the Arizona Coyotes and Edmonton Oilers are the last two tests. My guess is Willie Desjardins works on solidifying his power play, having a practice solely dedicated to line changes or more importantly Nick Bonino line changes and “pretending” they are down by a goal to start the game. 

Quick note coach, playing from behind every game before they announce the lineups isn’t a surefire way to a series win. 

OK, so how does the everyday Canucks fan as well as the players get prepared for the gauntlet that is the Stanley Cup Playoffs? Here’s your fool proof guide to help you out this spring.

  • First things first: April 15, ditch the razor. Maybe you wax, that’s cool. No judging here. Stop raiding your wife’s cosmetic drawer though once the playoffs start. Also, the lipstick…stop that too, we don’t need freaks in the playoffs.
  • Playoff towels; cool fan giveaway at the game, handy wipe for wings, cheezies, bbq sauce and if the Canucks happen to go down early again, the odd beer spill. (This is assuming you’ve been medicating since puck drop…more than normal)
  • Personal hygene – underwear ONE PAIR until the Canucks are done, Cup win or series loss. Act like a rock star inside, outside, backwards, forwards, and a combination of all of those. Socks; change every day. They are potentially visible to the public and smelly socks are the worst. I want no part of that, none. Don’t be sick.
  • Wearing Canucks apparel on game days to work. I believe this is a right. We all wore our Canada gear during the Olympics and the playoffs are the culmination (I think I used that word right) of 8 months of anxiety attacks, heartbreak, exuberation and yummy beer with friends; let’s see this through to the end.
  • Food, bevies and the people you share them with. Have wings, pizza, beer nuts and of course beer ready to rock come puck drop. The Canucks got this far and you don’t want a growly tummy. If you’re on a health kick or some 21 day challenge or something, it’s gonna have to wait. Make sure you watch with someone that shares your dedication level.
  • Hilite packages after game wins ONLY! Wins deserve to be remembered. If the Canucks happen to lose a game. Go to bed, forget it happened. Punch out the smirky co-worker that cheers for the other team out of spite when he brings the game up from the night before.
  • Maybe you do the twitters? Odds are, you will have sweaty hands from all the stress this team brings. I get that, it’s common. Maybe lay off the twitters unless something really big, really stupid or really supidly big happens. Also, if you are social media’ing on Facebook during the games, please stop.
  • No beanies
  • Car flags and big flags ONLY. No wind socks. Decals are fine but…decals are fine. That’s all for that one.
  • ALMOST FORGOT!!!! RIOTING…gang, this has been done to death. We get it, you like to flip cars, burn stuff and break windows. It’s been done twice now and honestly it’s old. If you see a rioter, corner him/her rip off their hippy beanie and and citizens arrest those punks. I hate rioting, nothing good comes of it 

 (credit – popscreen.com)

  • Well, I guess you could make out while the city burns
  • Finally, for all your pre game, post game, in game and round the clock analysis of the Canucks during the 2015 Stanley Cup Playoffs, head on over to CanucksArmy.com  It’s for real now, nothing will be the same.

So there you have it! You are now prepared to tackle this year’s Canucks run. It’s not going to be easy,  you’ll probably lose your mind a time or two and Zack Kassian will eventually return and we can all relax. Go get everything you are going to need to survive this trek and enjoy the last few games before ti all gets started.

GO CANUCKS GO!

Follow me on twitter: @always90four

Facebook: Always90four 

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