When You Let Always90four Pick Your Goal Song (Canucks Edition)

Music. It drives sports, it sets the tone of what’s about to happen, what just happened or some cheesy synthesizer at a basketball game when the guys trot up the court. In hockey, the warmups welcome you to the arena with a mix of everything the team is listening to in the dressing room. It sets the tone. The intro song when the team officially skates on the ice is as important as how the team performs, or so it seems in Vancouver.

Now the goal song, that gets criticized as much as the intro. Apparently if its not the most fitting song ever, its wrong and why bother even showing up? The Canucks ran with U2’s “Where the streets have no name” for many years as the intro song but that got them nowhere. No Cups…not even one.

As for the goal tune? Holiday by Green Day, Gold on the Ceiling by the Black Keys and Clutch by Electric Worry. That last one was actually not too shabby.

In a recent article over on Vancity Buzz, they shed light on what the Canucks are doing this season: Having individual goal songs for each player. Im half skeptical about this and half excited. Maybe I’ll finally here Alex Burrows raise his hands to the latest Dem Levato or some throwback Hansen. Your guess is as good as mine.

So I thought, because I’m so amazingly good at unearthing a great song and spreading it to the masses, why not pick each goal song for every Canuck? What could possibly go wrong? Well for starters, this article is going to have a sick ton of music videos.

After you’re done laughing, ridiculing, applauding in amazement over my choices, go on over to Canucks Army and check out Sillig Ekim’s take on this hot subject. Most certainly it will be better than what I have picked but I’ll let you cast judgement when I’m done.

OK, lets do this……..

Henrik Sedin – He’s the older of the two Sedin twins. So his song should be better than Daniels. I have chosen Drowning Pool’s Tear Away. Kinda dark and twisted for Henrik but the chorus is key here: “I don’t care about anyone else but me” Maybe an ode to his 2010 season when he decided to keep the puck to himself and win the Art Ross?

Daniel Sedin – The obvious choice here is the Olsen Twins – Brother for Sale. There was never another option.

Alex Burrows – Does anyone know what he’s saying half the time? I don’t. I love Alex but this song is pretty fitting IMO. Weird Al – Word Crimes

Brandon Sutter – He’s relatively new to the Canucks still and his song choice is kinda weird but when he was moved from the 2nd line to the top group with the twins, this one just seemed fitting. Spice Girls – 2 Become 1

Sven Baertschi – I know, he’s not swedish but this just seems to work. Never put me in charge of this task again. Swedish Chef from the Muppets

Bo Horvat – Young Bo is a teen phenom and you tell me, is this not fitting for our young superstar? Nirvana – Smells like Teen Spirit

Radim Vrbata – His goal stares are legendary, his shot is quick and lethal. He wants line chemistry and he wants it now. But not too much chemistry that would cause one to be…Radioactive. Imagine Dragons

Derek Dorsett – I had a few options for this one but I’ll save the bad choice for Brandon Prust. Dorsy gets the ever fitting Fight music by D12. Its the clean version so its ok for work.

Brandon Prust – This guy has heart, I’ll give him that but his predictable boring fights are waning. Pruster gets the P Diddy – Bad Boys For Life track. He isn’t changing.

You know what, Prusty gets two!

Predictable? Obviously. Great song? Oh ya it is!

Jake Virtanen – Anyone that’s anyone knows big Jake aka Big Country loves him some big hits. What is the best song for hitting people…well Bodies by Drowning Pool is what you might say off the hop but BOOM by P.O.D is what I’m giving Jake. Classic song and it really brings me back to my late teens when I wanted to make big hits on the ice.

Adam Cracknell – Release the Kraken….I’m gonna be real with you right now. I couldn’t find a song and I got lazy for about 10 minutes so I found this hilarious compilation video of Liam Neeson saying Release the Kraken over and over with funny stuff in the middle. Its not even that good but honestly who cares?

Jannik Hansen – Who is by far the leader in failed breakaway attempts on the Canucks? Look no further than Jannik Hansen. If we ran a poll right now, Breakaway by Kelly Clarkson would dominate. So ya, thats what I picked.

Jared McCann – We really don’t know a whole lot about Jared yet but don’t you worry, we will. What we DO know about Jared is his undying love to celebrate goals. He loves em! So why not pick a song that “celebrates” his celebrating? Kool & The Gang – Celebrate Good Times.

Alex Edler – WARNING!!! This song should really be for a former Canuck but considering how many of these boomers he takes, Edler gets the hit track SHOTS by LMFAO and Lil Jon

Chris Tanev – He’s so cool, so smooth. The guy rarely makes a mistake and he bails you out when you’re the goof. The Tan Man gets the soft spoken tune Easy Silence by The Dixie Chicks.

Dan Hamhuis – Theres only one. Its MC Hammer, its U Can’t Touch This and you just need to appreciate it.

Matt Bartowski – Should we care about his song yet? Is he even going to score? What would make sense so far down the roster?

Ryan Miller – Hes the last line of defense. He has to save everything or the Canucks will be in trouble. I was wondering if I would find a way for this song to be chosen. I mean, he’s a goalie, he’s never gonna score. So I figure after every big save that goes to commericial, Big and Rich can play him out.

Ben Hutton – This guy is so popular right now. Everyone on press row craves his stats, he’s a monster on the ice and he forced Frankie Corrado all the way to Leaf land. This guy IS the definition of popular.

Now, who’s left? Oh, the main man himself. Luca Sbisa. For all the hate he gets, all the arm chair GM’s that wish he was gone, he’s a decent guy and this season he could really improve. You’ll like this one.

Luca Sbisa – If there was ever a better song written for Sbizza himself I couldn’t find it. Hanson – Where’s the love?

There it is! The Canucks goal song manifesto. OK, truth be told almost none of these would actually be a song they would play but spending 2 hours on youtube finding a song for each player was a lot of fun.

My personal choice for their goal song would be Whisper and a Clamour by Anberlin. Chorus rocks!

Hopefully my bud Sillig Ekim over at Canucks Army has a better list than this sad sack. Could he actually though?

No.

This is gold.

Follow me on twitter and all my antics too! @always90four

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