Fantasy football

Seahawks JUST DO IT

Well its been about 7 months since the Seattle Seahawks won their first ever SuperBowl. Punishing the Denver Broncos capped off an amazing season and everyone wondered, could they do it again? On Sept 4, 2014, the Hawks hosted the Green Bay Packers and didn’t disappoint the 12’s. Seattle controlled most of the play in the game and finished the Packers off 36-16.

The Seahawks JUST DO IT. Sorry Nike, they just took over the game.

We waited and waited and waited and it finally came. The Clink as it’s called hosted the NFL’s kickoff 2014 and made sure the ratings were up, up and away. From Pharrell to Soundgarden, it was an event that turned Seattle into a mini SuperBowl frenzy. Well, the Seahawks put pen to paper and inked a 1-0 start to their season.

It’s anyone’s guess as to when the Hawks will fall victim to the dreaded “loss” but the way they showed up the Packers, it won’t be soon.

The 2014 season brings new life to the Northwest warriors; Percy Harvin finally gets to show Seattle fan’s what they have been jonesing for, Richard Sherman can hopefully continue to backup his new contract extension and that Russell Wilson guy? Let’s see him win another ring.

The season is one game old and it feels like we have all these storylines to talk about, and that’s just ONE TEAM. I can’t wait for Sunday.

Oh, by the way; my fantasy team did just fine this evening.

Follow me on twitter @hankthetank10 and @always90four

Photo courtesy of http://www.seahawks.com

Welcome Back NFL, We Missed You

Although, this play didn’t win the SuperBowl last season, it did set the Seattle Seahawks into hyperdrive to clinch their first ever Lombardi Trophy. It was a season filled with surprises and superstars but like only the NFL can, it made us tune in to see what else was next. Well, come Thursday, it all starts again. Welcome back NFL, we missed you.

The defending champ, Seahawks, are hosting the Green Bay Packers. There have been a few memorable matchups between these two teams, none really more memorable than the touchterception call by the replacement refs that forced the NFL to ante up and pay their normal referees to come back.

Hopefully nothing that awful occurs this year. There will however, be some big names to watch once we kickoff at Centurylink Field on Thursday. Is Peyton Manning still in the driver’s seat to get his Broncos back to the SuperBowl? Or is the sun setting on the future Hall of Famer? An obvious question, will the Seahawks repeat with their stellar team that absolutely demolished the Broncos last year? Tough to say.

I personally am excited to see a few stars own it this year:

Adrian Peterson – I just want this guy to crush the rushing record so bad. He is a phenomenal athlete and he makes that position look easy. He enjoys hitting people to prove his point and an overall nice guy. Good luck AP.

Percy Harvin – AP’s former teammate is going to get a full season to play in the Seahawks offense and it personally gets me a bit too excited. He has amazing speed, hybrid receiver/running back abilities and he’s big too! If anything happens to Lynch this year, I doubt anyone will worry with Harvin and Christine Michael holding down the backfield.

Jimmy Graham – Jimmy got paid. Jimmy’s gotta step up his game even more. Jimmy wants to be paid like a wideout? Put up a 2k season. That will get you that kind of money. Jimmy thinks he just called out Jimmy Graham. Bad idea.

Johnny Manziel – This man probably will only have one rival this year for hype and HE was drafted first overall. Johnny Football is a lifestyle it seems. He can party, he can be named the backup but all in all, JF will be a star in the NFL. He has everything to make him a star and he may just take Cleveland further than they ever have been. Josh Gordon gone? Who cares. Manziel will more than make up for it with his read option ability and his wealth of targets.

Jadeveon Clowney – Finally this guy. He is a monster. He is a wildebeest with a smile. Houston made a great pick with Clowney to join forces with JJ Watt. Offenses will have nightmares when they have to face these two. I would prefer to never even face these guys let alone tell you what type of grass is used once they bury my face in the ground. Check this clip:

Jacked up yet? There’s only one other thing that makes football even better: Fantasy Football. Yes it’s “fake football” time and everyone is geeked up. Hopefully both of my teams go all the way and life will be complete. Its entirely possible.

I have also put my hat in the ring for a chance to become part of NFL Canada‘s digital street team. It would truly be an honor to be officially associated with the NFL. I’ll let you know if it happens. In fact, I am sure you’ll hear a lot about it if I do.

So, get your popcorn ready, put on your favorite Brett Favre jersey (he played for a few teams) and plunk down on that old leather chair and get ready for the best NFL season ever.

One last thing.

You’re welcome.

Follow me on twitter @hankthetank10 and @always90four

Fantasy Football Season Is HERE!!

It’s hard to believe it has been 7 months since fantasy football season ended. Time flies but thankfully it has flown back into many of our lives. NFL preseason starts in 2 weeks and many leagues will be arranging, scheming and drafting their elite rosters for the 2014 season. I will be one of those people dedicating every possible vacancy in my day to my roster. Fantasy football season is here!

Last season, my main league almost ended in a grand hurrah; sadly trading Peyton Manning would haunt me in the game that mattered most. Life goes on and I am determined to win the unicorn’s sacred trophy: fantasy football glory.

My main money league folded before this season has started but I have managed to hitch my trailer to a new one and it should be a real blast. I also haven’t forgot about the awful luck I ran into in Roberto Luongo’s twitter league. I was very thankful to have @strombone1 accept me into his league last year and like the Boston Bruins, I was able to beat him twice when it mattered.

Low blow.

It still hurts Bobby Lu, but we love you. Maybe when Florida up and moves we can see you play in Seattle. Wouldn’t that be ironic?

But enough about Mr. Strombone; There are plenty of story lines going into this season: the Seahawks will try and defend their actual championship against a league gunning for them, Desean Jackson went east to the Eagles rival Washington Redskins and Johnny Football will be slingin pigskin for the Browns. What a season it will be.

Follow this blog for updates throughout the preseason, leading up to the draft, the big day and the 2014 fantasy season. Hopefully I don’t disappoint.

I can’t wait for September to come but there is so much that happens before then. The NFL is such an awesome league and there is never a dull moment. Maybe Aaron Hernandez will join a fantasy league this year, because we all know he won’t be in a real one anytime soon.

Follow me on twitter @hankthetank10 and @always90four

Fantasy Football HATES you

From Thursday to Monday nights starting in September, most husbands, boyfriends, sons, and for you nerds out there, World of Warcraft; become zombies to the rest of the world. Football in all its glory returns and even more important, Fantasy Football, begins.

To be fair, there are some girls that play too, and for some of those unlucky leagues out there, they win. This is a hobby that creates billions in revenue each year across the world, and also loses billions I’m sure. If I put even HALF of the effort into my normal job as I did in fantasy football, well, I don’t want to even think about it. If I played fantasy football during college, I would STILL be in college. You get my point.

The unfair part of it is how much time and effort you have to put in to even try to win your league. I spent an hour on twitter this weekend trying to decide what Tight End to play and by Sunday afternoon, they were both out anyways. It sucks! I mean, who has three TE on their team? You can prepare all you want, get all the best info from the most knowledgable guys and it still comes down to what happens on the field. Peyton Manning and Tom Brady might be the best QB’s in the league, but even they suck sometimes.

Wanna know how nuts it is? When Aaron Hernandez was arrested, I GUARANTEE YOU, thousands of people were choked because NOW they have to find a new TE. He MURDERED 2, possibly 3 people, and Terrific Tom’s Touchdowns is scouring the league to see who will be available at the draft. The same reaction had to have happened when Mike Vick went to jail for his role in a dog fighting ring. How…..am I going to replace a QB like that? They’re just dogs right? Man I hope Vick doesn’t do too much time, maybe I’ll stash him on my bench for a year or so.

This epic funfest has put friendships in question, marriages on the rocks (no way?), work relationships in jeopardy, heck, jobs in jeopardy and all for a little bit of fun. Fantasy Football is so popular that FXX Network, a subsidiary of FOX, has a show called, The League. A group of friends that are in a fantasy league together and all the shenanigans that happen during their lives. Its a beauty and a must a watch.

It's ALL about the Shiva Bowl

It’s ALL about the Shiva Bowl

Sunday mornings haven’t been the same since Twitter joined fantasy sports either. There are loads of analysts that get PAID to give you advice on how to win your leagues every year, week in and week out. When you end up being the smartest guy in your league, odds are, there are a group of people online that are waaaay smarter than you. It would have been amazing to see how it was done even 10 years ago. “Dear Fantasy football guy, I have a big matchup this weekend, who do I start at QB: Rivers or Eli Manning? Thanks a lot, Ryan” “Dear Ryan, I just got your letter, I would start Rivers this week because Eli is on a bye week. Thanks for following us, Fantasy football guy. You can guess that would have been a blast getting snail mail a week or two later if you were lucky.

With Twitter now, you can have get real time answers the way call in shows have done, but way quicker and with more possibilities. See someone ask the same kind of question, just check your timeline and you can save yourself a question. Unless you are a real idiot and you ask the same question 100 times only to get nothing back. Or even better, ask a question that is brutally obvious and get ignored. “Who should I start at RB: Marshawn Lynch orrrrrr Trent Richardson? The only people that would find that funny though are the people in this special world.

If you hate this man, you love fantasy football.

Ya, I might be a mouth breather but I have 2 Super Bowls

Ya, I might be a mouth breather but I have 2 Super Bowls

Drafting is a big part of how your season will go and could even define your entire season early. If you haven’t done your homework or didn’t have a smart strategy, you could be 1-11 like a guy in my league is. The real thrill is finding a diamond in the rough after a week of games and he ends up being one of the NFL elite. You have to be a bit lucky or know what you think everyone else doesn’t know already.

Its sure amusing to think of what the hobby really is: a harsh, dark world of evil sorcery and old stabled hunks of meat used for the rich mans betting amusal. No one thinks of their favorite team anymore, its about numbers. Favorite team won? Who cares. Did the WR on the other team get 80 yards? HUGE playoff implications for division rivals? Great! I should totally get big points out of the RB in that game. Its like greyhounds; they are popular until they stop winning and then just tossed to the curb…or the glue farm while the next young stud is welcomed to Weeden Start the Fire’s PPR team.

Its a reason to get up in the morning…usually 7am on Tuesdays when the waiver wire opens, you gotta be first you know. Its even more fun when you screw over a guy you hate in your league, and take the guy he wanted knowing full well you don’t even need him and he’ll just rot away on your bench.

Oh fantasy football, the American dream, the Canadian nightmare and yet another reason the CFL still has a point for kicking the ball through the end zone. Seriously, stop that rule, its lame. The lacrosse league is starting to snicker at you.

And finally, the butt fumble again

follow me on twitter @hankthetank10

Winning is everything…except when you lose

I hate losing. I hate the idea of losing. Whats somewhat pathetic is that I personally did not lose. My decisions lost. By now it should be fairly obvious this is about fantasy football.

Building a dynasty isn’t easy and when you haven’t even won anything it makes it all that more difficult. This weekend, there was a chance to move ahead and cement my spot in elite club of winners. I was in the feeling that winning was going to take over this weekend and all would be good. Well going 0-3 changes all of that.

Sure doesn’t help when you play the undefeated guy with Peyton Freaking Manning on his team. Oh ya, I traded the guy Manning. Smart right? The word dynasty will come in handy in two years if Peyton takes over Papa Johns full time. So to start, that was bad decision #1.

#2 wasnt really a bad decision, it was my own cockiness. The winning I was planning on doing, didn’t happen in league #2. This is the league I am in with Roberto Luongo. Could have been in a tie for first place. Now i have to earn it. Boo.

The final league im in i just suck so really i don’t care on that one. Still sucks to lose.

To add one more thing, that Value Village commercial is THE BIGGEST HACK of a currently popular song. Macklemore, you might want to check into this.

Follow me on twitter and over on http://www.thefarmclub.net I write about the canucks.

The Fantasy of Football

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I hate that I don’t win all the time. It sucks. No one likes a loser and sometimes that person is me.

This guy above had the best outing of any QB in the history of all football games. OK sure, 5 others have done what he did. But they’re dead. What? some are still living? ok. This post is going south real quick.

Thankfully, in all of my leagues, not one of them did I face this tight helmeted figure. It doesn’t mean that it wasn’t a tough week. It was. Didn’t think the top 20 stars in the league would average 10-15 pts or less. They know its week one right?

I KNEW!!! I set my lineups well ahead of today and I feel like I barely treaded water today. Tomorrow is a new day though. A new day to have hope for victory, in at least one league. As I listen to this cool cat named Kid Ink, I truly thought I had bossed up. It was set, the matchups were in my favor.

Then 10am came. Forte DIDN’T run for 100 yards, Lance Moore DIDN’T go off (to be fair he’s up and down every week so I should be fine next week), Antonio Brown DIDN’T make headlines. See where im going here? This was a day to forget. Unless of course, you were watching for the games.

Then kiddies, it was a good day. Plenty of back and forth, plenty of collective “oooo” and “aaaah” and “WHAAAAAAT”? The Seahawks had a good finish to their day, Rams took their first game, some safeties were scored and the game I thought was the most interesting was the Jets/Bucs game.

No one should even care about this one but I was scouting out my boy Stephen Hill. Not bad but not great. The last 5 minutes were worth the price of admission. Im guessing. Looking forward to MNF tomorrow, should be fun!

I’ll be talking smack when I beat one of the less talented teams in my main league tomorrow.

Fantasy Football: Insomnia Express

New York Jets v Seattle Seahawks

In a few short days, the 2013 NFL season will being and the global workforce will cease to operate. Wives and girlfriends will simultaneously ask the same question “Is it going to be like this EVERY Sunday?” The answer? Oh you bet your pretty face it is!

That guy in the picture there? Skittles aka Beast Mode aka Marshawn Lynch. A fantasy fooballer’s key to a championship. He consistantly decimates defenses, has a never give up attitude and the boy loves candy when he scores a TD. Gotta respect that.

Every year there is a player that fantasy GM’s scour the web, read draft previews inside and out, watch endless hours of NFL network,and follow every twitter feed that could possibly unearth the key to victory. Since I began playing Fantasy Football back in 2007, I have looked for that guy. He’s out there and he might not be in plain site but he’s there waiting for someone in every league to jump all over him and ride those sweet sweet coat tails.

Whenever a fantasy stud emerges, everyone and Tim Tebow wants to have him on their team. There are a variety of ways this new amazing find can be added but I won’t bore you with the details. Its a rush to see this guy in action and to start dreaming up all the ways he is going to win you the championship or how he will be the best man at your wedding or a wingman for your eventual strike out when he ends up vulturing that hottie at the bar.

Because this is an educational site, nothing but the facts, some blown out of proportion stats, and some good humored ribbing will be found here. So take my hand *reaches out for your hand* lock it in, and get ready for some crazy awesome times ahead…..just a second I have to put my daughter to bed.

OK, sorry about that. Lets get in to…..NO SWEETIE, YOU CAN’T HAVE ANOTHER DRINK, GO TO BED!

Guy mode ACTIVATE.

The year is 2007. Your buddy asks yo to join his Fantasy league. Sure, how hard can it be? I know all the players, this should be fun. HEY WAIT! All the good guys are getting drafted! He should have been there still, pretty sure I was the only guy targeting him.

Enter Brandon Jacobs, running back for the New York Giants. In tandem with Ahmad Bradshaw, the Giants rolled this duo, more specifically Jacobs to a Super Bowl ring over the New England Patriots and the infamous David Tyree helmet catch” from Eli Manning.

Brandon Jacobs stat line: 174 receiving yards and 1009 rushing yards for 6 TD. Not a bad find. He was a monster of a man and plowed through defenses continually. The Giants appreciated his efforts, you can count on that!

As HOV says on to the next one…

One year later 2008 produced arguably one of the most exciting football players to walk on the field. His name to many is a mystery. Not because he keeps it a secret, no, its because lately, no one is really sure how many yards he’ll amass this season. The kids around the playground might call him CJ2K, or CJ?K, maybe CJ1K, one of the founding members of Flash and Dash or simply Chris Johnson. CJ took over for Lendale White very early in the season when it was clearly recognized who was the better back. He was fast, he was shifty and he had breakaway speed even after the first tackle. Chris Johnson became a fantasy star almost over night. The next season he would become the 6th player in NFL history to rush for over 2000 yards. He was and is all kinds of awesome.

CJ2K’s stat line in 08: 260 receiving yards and 1228 rushing yards for 10 TD. Not bad, almost Madden numbers for a rookie!

While the world was being introduced to Lady Gaga and seeing the Hangover for the first time, these two homies were tearing up the NFL quicker than Aaron Hernandez could get rid of that gun he tweeted. This is Ray, last name Rice, so amazing we have to say it UH GAIN!! His division rival in Pittsburgh was having a good year too. This is Mike “60 minutes” check yo watch Wallace.

Mike Wallace, living in the shadows of Hines Ward and Santonio Holmes, put up a great 09 season. Nothing that will go down in the record books, but he was a huge addition to the Steelers offense and made them a Super Bowl Champion. Did I mention he was on the waiver wire for pretty much every league?
Wallace da kid stat line: 756 receiving yards for 6 TD

Ray Rice was making a name for himself over in Baltimore at the same time. He was a short pug type back who made defenses think twice about stopping him; not they could. Everyone wanted a Rice type player and if you were lucky he was on your team quick.
Rice stat line: 702 receiving yards and 1339 rushing yards for 8 TD

Arian+Foster+Jacksonville+Jaguars+v+Houston+mXQ95U2ddjpl

2010, the beginning of a new era.

This was the season two men took the stage. 2010 revealed Arian Foster and Peyton Hillis. Arian was a preseason draft pick in many leagues, but no one could know how amazing he was really going to be. Peyton Hillis made people quickly pay attention to what was going to happen that season.
Combined, these two would rack up 1081 receiving yards, 2793 rushing yards and 31 TD. Sadly, Hillis dropped off the map but Foster is still a top 3 back if he’s healthy. This was also the year that if you had Arian Foster, you probably won your league. I did not have him.

Four years prior, David Tyree made the NY Giants Superbowl Champions with the helmet catch and in 2011 it was a different receiver who was turning heads. The Giants would go on Cruz Control and again beat the New England Patriots for their 2nd title in four years.
Victor Cruz stepped out in 2011 and was an instant add by the end of week one. He never looked back. I’ll say, Chunky’s ad? You got it made son! Fork or a spoon though?
Cruz stat line: 536 receiving yards for 9 TD

And finally 2012. Some thought it was the end of the world. It wasn’t. Some thought Lindsay Lohan would change. She didn’t. Some thought I would be less hairy. Ok that actually happened. But then it went back. To be fair it grew back in 2013 so I kept that promise.
Lets take a journey to the planet Melmack. Alien lifeforms are thriving with corn like noses. Cats are no where to be seen. And lost in it all is Alfred Morris. The tough part about this season was that a Washington Redskin was a breakout player. Luckily, I had the foresight to snag this gem before the greedy paws around my league could get him first.

ALF as Dave Richard from CBS Sports dubbed him was a runaway threat. He caught, he rushed he blocked. RG III was supposed to be the star but he ended up sharing the spotlight with ALF. No one was happier than fantasy owners across the country…ok the Seahawks were happier but lets not ruin this run here.
ALF stat line: 1610 rushing yards for 13 TD…shizaaaam that is cray! Did I mention I have him?

So to summarize this wording collaboration, you too can snag one of these fine fellas in your fantasy league. Just do your homework, study hard read the blogs, the twitters and endless hours of television. OR….you could randomly watch the one game on TV that ends up changing your season. Good luck, because I’m going to get him first.

Also, YOLO.

All stats provided by http://espn.go.com/nfl/statistics

When Fantasy becomes Reality

how many times do you have to fail before you succeed?

Fantasy Football season is upon us. I have already finished one draft which took 4 days to complete but should be a lot of fun. I have 2 more this week and one with the man himself, @strombone1 aka roberto Luongo. Its been a good week.

The fun thing about fantasy football is that its always a work in progress. You get to be an allstar GM and decide who you believe should be the best starters come sunday. Its part video game, part reality. The beauty of it all is in this age of technology, you have hundreds of other GMs and sources who can help you win your way to that glorious fake trophy.

ultimate-trophy

I can tell you what to do, but if you look at my track record, I haven't won yet, big problem. I feel like the Browns. But thats ok. Im going to hopefully give you a week by week detail of how to or how not to play this game.

If I have it my way, which in this case I do, this should be a smashing success.

Wish me luck!