henrik sedin

Canucks And Their Multi Purpose Shower Drain

We’ve all done it; you’re in the shower and you forgot to go before you wash up for the day. So why not just do what’s natural, pee in the shower. It all goes to the same place and you’re gonna be clean after anyways. You’ve done it, I’ve done it, heck George Costanza’s done it.

In a recent article on sbnation.com, Rick DiPietro talks about the time HE took a leak in the team shower when Bill Guerin became Captain in Long Island. Hard hitting stuff. So I started to think, does Henrik Sedin allow his team to be free in the showers?

Hank’s a classy guy and a real team leader. He has quite a cast of characters in the dressing room and I bet some of them pee in the shower when he’s not looking. Maybe he doesn’t care though? Is it that big a deal? I’ve never been in a pro sports locker room after a game so I have no clue about the shenanigans that may or may not go on.

I just think, if I’m on the team and no one is close, or even in there, am I disappointing the franchise? I’m a fan favourite, how can I go wrong? The Canucks have let a few championships go down the drain as well as years where their playoff hopes were flushed, so its really minor when they literally do it behind closed doors.

However, that new improved spaceship like dressing room does demand a little respect, and  they all wear flip flops in there, I assume, so thats good. Maybe the real question is how many Stanley Cup Champions pee in the shower? What if teams all over the league are doing it and the Canucks are too uptight?

In a interview with Roberto Luongo on CFOX radio in Vancouver, linked here on Pass It To Bulis, Bobby Lu discusses the subject; it seems not every goalie is into the peeing in the shower deal.

What if in some crazy way, and im stretching here, that correlated to a Cup? I say we live and let live, pee and be free!  What if Luongo actually did and he’s covering up? Should we judge him, I mean the guy does use the washroom mid game, I’m sure he has stories.

The Vancouver Canucks are a team of blue collar guys and a lot of them are real hard workers, so give them a break, let em pee. They have enough problems to worry about, like losing to teams with combined win records equalling their own.

I don’t want my Canucks stressed out come April, May and June. You shouldn’t either. But I’m one man.

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Canucks Trying To ‘Shake It Off’ Before Christmas

It’s a real shame Taylor Swift doesn’t roll through Vancouver with her 1989 World Tour until August because the Canucks could sure use some tips on how to shake off their current funk. The problems are obvious and the solutions are somewhere in limbo. If T-Swift can’t help them out maybe they should be asking Ol’ Saint Nick for help this Christmas.

I doubt the Canucks will be asking for the latest Frozen dolls, Star Wars Lego, Minecraft stuff or even tickets to see Jay Z; the current wish list in the Canucks locker room was recently found and here are a few snippets of what they asked for:

Willie Desjardins asked for mustache wax, Season 3 of Sons of Anarchy, a personalized coffee mug and a revival of the Bonino, Burrows and Higgins line….but that actually produces. Alex Burrows and Nick Bonino combined for a goal against the Rangers but no one can honestly tell you the last time that happened.

Henrik and Daniel Sedin asked for matching blue bikes, 2 rolex watches (yellow and blue in color), a sleigh for their race horses and a return to their scoring ways with Radim Vrbata in tow. Vrbata has 103 shots on the year, team leading, so feeding him the puck is the best method of action.

Ryan Miller asked for the unreleased Yeezi 3’s by Adidas x Kanye West, a personal tennis match with Milos Raonic and any and I MEAN ANY skills Roberto Luongo may have left in his Vancouver net to help beat this brutal stretch of play he seems to be going through. 18 goals against in his last 5 games along with a save percentage that rivals that of a rookie minor leaguer, it’s time to see something change.

– All Alex Edler asked for this year was the ability to hit someone again, ok, and that silver Starbucks card they’re selling. He is thankful though that not many sticks have broken on him this season.

– When asked what Bo Horvat wanted this year from Santa, he was pretty clear: a PS4 and ALL THE GAMES, a dirtbike with a wheelie bar, the entire Family Guy DVD collection, itunes gift cards and a sweet stereo for his new car he just bought with his first rookie pay cheque.

Kevin Bieksa wants “Bieksaface” back; he just isn’t the same without it. His mean streak isn’t the meanest right now and it’s about time he manned up and helped lead this team back to where it should be.

– Did Trevor Linden ask for anything? Let’s see: he runs the Canucks, he bikes to and from Whistler every morning before coming in to work, his team despite its current slump is still very much challenging for a top playoff spot and every GM in the league is answering his phone calls. Trevor just wants that puck to not have hit the post in 1994.

The Canucks have their own personal wish lists but their real need is for things to get back to the new normal. The wins were rolling in before things fell apart on the East Coast. The second line hasn’t recorded a point since before the mumps hit the NHL and Ryan Miller looks like the Ryan Miller that Buffalo didn’t even need. I’m not throwing Miller under the bus, but he hasn’t exactly shown much brilliance lately.

Christmas is a time for sharing, spending time with loved ones and the start of the World Junior Championship. The Canucks think that’s all fine and dandy but getting some points before the break would really help things get back on track. First up is the Dallas Stars and shutting down Jamie Benn, Jason “Giggles” Spezza and Tyler Seguin would be a great statement to make. The red hot Calgary Flames….wait did I say that right? are after that and there will be no excuses to lose to these chumps. Toronto was a shock and losing to the Flames is not an option.

So expect Santa to get a few final letters from the Vancouver Canucks and hopefully the nice list has some room and a few extra points in the standings will be under the tree this year.

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How the mighty have fallen

It just isn’t ending. Despite an Olympic break, the wound stays open for the Canucks and they need all the motivation they can get. The mighty have fallen and it doesn’t look like they are getting back up any time soon.

John Tortorella needs to get every motivational speech on film and in real life on film ASAP. It started with some lackluster play, then some injuries took over and now its just flat out embarassing. The Canucks just aren’t what they used to be. There is no sign of hope on the horizon, no cavalry on the way; Canucks fans are stuck with a loser right now and nobody likes a loser.

Thankfully, the boys in blue can take a break if they arent going to Sochi and figure out what they need to do to bounce back. As for the players going to the Olympics, one can only hope that being surrounded by winners will rub off on the them. It can’t get any worse than losing to the Leafs to start the 2 week break, the Leafs! The Canucks don’t lose to the Leafs. It’s just not done.

Local scribe, Squire Barnes said it best:

Never played the game, but it has to be brutally tough.

Here’s a quick update as to where your favorite Canucks stand after their dismal loss in Toronto:

Henrik Sedin – rib injury, although it hasn’t really mattered anyways. He has looked like a shadow, no I take that back. Henrik hasn’t even looked like Henrik’s shadow this season. I’ll kill two birds with one stone on this one, Daniel has been awful too!

Last point: Jan 10 against St. Louis….an assist. 5 points in January. All assists.

Ryan Kesler – the only “star” forward that seems to still be hanging on. He hasn’t been all world lately either but at least he is showing he can still offer something. Feel bad for this guy, he has it in him, it just isn’t all coming out. Monster amounts of ice time doesn’t help either.

3 goals and 6 assists in the last 11 games. Not bad actually, but far from great.

Alex Burrows – he is having one of those seasons that any player would like to forget. The puck is avoiding him like the plague and fighting his way back from a broken jaw can’t be easy. Burrows gets a pass, he is much better than his season has shown.

Roberto Luongo – Bobby Lu is probably the one thing keeping the Canucks relevant. He has done everything that has been asked of him and unfortunately there haven’t been enough goals for the guys in front of him to keep his performances in the win column. Roberto gets a much needed boost of talent when he heads to Sochi on Monday. He needs a break from the crap he has dealt with.

No big deal, just a country’s expectations on his shoulders.
19-15-2 with a 2.36 GAA and 3 shutouts. With ANY goal support, Roberto would have at least 7-10 more wins, then no one is questioning this team…ok that’s a lie.

Sensing a trend here? It’s like watching “Sharknado”. It’s bad, it’s really bad. But if you start watching it, you have to know how it ends. It’s really a shame to see how far the Canucks have fallen since 2011. There hasn’t been anything to reference since, they just haven’t stepped up. Too bad all of their prospects aren’t ready to take the plunge, how much worse could it get?

Thankfully, it’s time to sit back and see some good stories unfold at the Olympics in Sochi. Team Canada looks to be the favorite in hockey and there is a handful of Canucks that may have something to say about that.

All statistics courtesy of fantasynews.cbssports.com