jeff paterson

For Boeser or For Worse

It’s been said time and time again, “This is why we can’t have nice things”. Brock Boeser was the culmination of a month of these comments. Twenty seconds into the middle frame of the Canucks/Flames matchup on Sunday night, Boeser was felled by a Mark Giordano shot that simultaneously felled Canucks Nation.

You could have heard a pin drop. WARNING: Graphic potential season-ending content

We all felt it, immediately. This was a whole separate Provies in itself, this was a feature-length Pat-Cast, this was a 30 for 30. This may have been the end. Of course, at the time of writing this, no one but the Canucks knows the status of Boeser’s ankle/foot. Thankfully, that’s something we won’t have to dwell on until at least Monday morning.

Where was Nikita Tryamkin to give him a push to the bench, WHERE WERE YOU NIKITA?!?!

“This is why we can’t have nice things”, tanking has proven this a few times, at least for the Canucks. Injuries have leveled this team in a way that is just bizarre. How it is even possible that Vancouver has lost its top center, his wingman, and now the team’s best player who just so happens to be dominating the NHL Calder race and is ranked in the top-5 in goal scoring race?

It’s beyond crazy. From there, the injuries to Brandon Sutter, Derek Dorsett, Erik Gudbranson, and Chris Tanev are just white noise, really. Everyone hoped this day wouldn’t happen and Boeser has only been on the team for less than half a season and he’s become the most polarizing figure in Vancouver sports.

The Sedins never reached the popularity of this magnitude.

This was ONE day ago! Less than 24 hours later, here’s what is being read online:

Maybe it’s over, maybe it’s not. Henrik and Daniel Sedin have been getting back to their old ways but even then, they had Boeser to take the load off so they could sneak in and do some damage.

This isn’t even a question of adversity or how the Canucks will deal with all the injuries, it’s past that point. Until February rolls around, there is realistically no chance the Canucks win more than three games until then. The sky has fallen, it’s over, the Canucks are doomed. Any other ones I missed? Team Tank will surround this like vultures by the morning. Just wait.

The World Junior tournament is just over a week away and then the focus can transition to Elias Pettersson’s dominance of a child’s league compared to the heights he has risen since his draft day. Anything to take our minds off of this doomsday situation.

 

Oh, and there’s no more milk in the fridge. Great.

 

Follow me on twitter: @always90four

photo – Nucks Misconduct via Mike Ehrmann

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What’s On The Infamous Canucks Team iPad?

If you’ve bothered to stay informed with the Canucks through the last quarter of the season you no doubt have heard about the Canucks iPad. It has old Youtube videos, line combination ideas, and plays that never got further than crossing their own blue line. Many listeners of the Pat Cast with Jeff Paterson and Jason Botchford as well as readers of Botchford’s Province articles have heard of the “Chris Pronger videos” the coaches showed Nikita Tryamkin to encourage him to play more aggressive.

It obviously didn’t work and Tryamkin bolted back to the KHL. But what else was on this infamous iPad that caused the Canucks coaches to consistently shake their heads in disappointment as the team plummetted down the standings? Well, you’re in luck!

I was able to pull some strings and get the password to look around in there. It wasn’t that hard to crack though, “Password1234” was my 3rd guess and Huzzah! it worked. So needless to say, I wanted to share what I found. I do have to warn everyone, there is some shockingly terrifying stuff on here that really makes me wonder the direction this team is really headed.

The Pronger Vids

You have to be impressed that the Canucks think so highly of Chris Pronger that they made an app of all his hits and highlights. With the need to find aggression in the lineup and especially through the departed Tryamkin, they probably went too far when they showed him stomping on Ryan Kesler’s leg. It’s conceivable BFG was willing to hit harder and get a bit more aggressive but forcing his skate on someone to cut their leg off was the deal breaker.

First page looks pretty normal otherwise, looks like the Canucks have their own Slack account. Smart to have a working message board there. I did notice that they modified the NOTES app to be exclusively about Jayson Megna. Kind of disturbing if you ask me, but when he was out on the ice in every situation, I suppose having quick access to who plays well with Megna is a good idea?

Special Teams, Deals, and BOE

The biggest shocker for me was seeing that they subscribe to Jyrki21’s “Benning On Empty”. This comic strip is so much bigger than I gave it credit for. Don’t get me wrong, it’s hilarious every single week and he really crushes the takes from a unique angle but the fact the Canucks follow him and made an effort to be a tap away from reading, that’s awesome!

A power play app makes sense to have. When they’re in the heat of the action, looking at some quick ideas or successful setups could make the difference between losing and advancing in the playoffs. OK, not THIS team quite yet, but you get the idea. As the Canucks struggles on the man-advantage increase ten-fold this past season, the power play app seems like a welcome addition to the team. It couldn’t make them any worse, that’s for sure!

There was one app I was kind of questioning for awhile and that is the Groupon app. The one I know has deals on food, shopping, hotels, and some questionable items that you probably shouldn’t be looking to get a deal on. What I found was that the NHL has a player transaction app kind of like the EA Sports games where you can sign, trade and scour the market for additions under the Groupon app logo so no one is the wiser.

It wasn’t hidden that well as I only had to swipe right a few times. I’m glad there wasn’t a Tinder app on here, I really don’t know how I would have handled that.

Back To Square One

Makes sense, finishing the season with a PP of 14.1% would be worth deleting that app. It was suggested on Twitter, in the papers and on the airwaves so it makes perfect sense that the Canucks gave up on the man-advantage as well.

So there you have it, the Canucks iPad in a nutshell. Not too glamourous but it should help set some things straight on how this team operates on a day-to-day basis and what goes on during the game.

Imagine what their Apple Watch would look like?

Save that for another day.

Follow me on the twitter: @always90four